Time administration and group have by no means come naturally to me. When life grew to become unmanageable—a continuing since my second little one arrived—I regarded to the specialists. Not as soon as did I consider listening to my very own rhythm and physique. Productiveness, I assumed, was one thing to grasp, not one thing to grasp.
Then I hit a wall.
I used to be bored with feeling like this, so I ended combating my very own nature. I ended taking productiveness recommendation from individuals who don’t have ADHD.
For years, I had been making an attempt to contort myself into somebody I wasn’t—structured, disciplined, and neatly organized. An individual who might observe a system designed for a mind that didn’t work like mine. Why had I ever believed I might handle my time the identical approach they did?
The shift was refined however modified every thing. I’m unstuck, now not languishing, transferring forward with objective. I do know I’ll get caught once more, however I additionally know this: I’m performed chasing options that have been by no means meant to work for me.
Right this moment, I’m sharing what does work—how I get issues performed with out draining myself within the course of. As a result of once we work in opposition to who we’re, burnout isn’t a risk. It’s a assure.
Notes on Productiveness, Relaxation, and Worthiness
A be aware on productiveness.
I outline productiveness as doing what I stated I’d do—for myself, for others—in a approach that is smart for my life. I spent two years making an attempt to heal burnout by “resting,” solely to really feel worse with every passing day. Seems, relaxation isn’t simply stillness. Some sorts of relaxation are energetic, and studying to revive that modified every thing.
A be aware on relaxation.
Totally different sorts of relaxation observe completely different sorts of productiveness. Realizing what you want means realizing your limits. Making an attempt to perform like somebody with out ADHD solely pushed me farther from these indicators. ADHD brains want various kinds of relaxation—emotional, psychological, artistic, bodily, passive.
I don’t recharge by watching TV. I recharge by studying, cooking, taking lengthy walks, and practising Pilates. To outsiders, it would seem like I’m all the time going, however this type of motion restores me. Typically, organizing a junk drawer is self-care. Different occasions, it’s a warning signal. Once I’m mentally drained, TV helps. Once I’m emotionally overwhelmed, it makes me really feel caught. Studying the distinction modified every thing.
A be aware on worthiness.
We’re taught to measure our price by what we produce. A part of my midlife journey has been rejecting that, untangling my worth from my output, and specializing in making slightly than measuring. For those who’re within the thick of that, this publish will not be what you want as we speak.
Your price just isn’t your work. However making—creating, transferring, shaping one thing from nothing—is an expression of you. It’s life-giving. It’s confidence-building. It’s the factor that may pull you out of a spiral earlier than it takes maintain. Once I began honoring my interior drive to create, productiveness stopped being one thing I chased. It grew to become the pure results of discovering my move. Momentum, not depletion. Creation, not extraction. And that modified every thing.
Once I began honoring my interior drive to create, productiveness stopped being one thing I chased. It grew to become the pure results of discovering my move. Momentum, not depletion. Creation, not extraction. And that modified every thing.
Dwelling with Limitations, Each Psychological and Bodily
I’m a working mom with hobbies, a social life, and a deep appreciation for an excellent evening’s sleep and every day bodily motion. I don’t wish to give any of that up. So, I settle for that I don’t have lengthy, uninterrupted stretches for deep-focus work like I used to.
I additionally settle for that typically I don’t know if I want relaxation or momentum. The one option to know is by tuning into my physique, and that requires emotional regulation, which can be arduous to entry whenever you’re overstimulated.
My capability to entry my most “productive” self is proscribed and never constant. Realizing I’m not all the time going to make the best alternative helps me discover some grace slightly than falling right into a disgrace spiral. I used to make my incapability to get issues performed imply one thing about me as a human being. We don’t try this anymore. Some days I can provide myself what I want. Some days I simply mess up. Life goes on.
Attaining optimum productiveness daily is unrealistic. Once I do yoga, my physique can really feel totally completely different from sooner or later to the subsequent. Brains are like that too. There are occasions when work and life really feel like an uphill battle. Switching duties feels more durable than it ought to be. And there are seasons the place effectivity simply isn’t within the playing cards—accepting that has been key to discovering a approach by means of.
As a result of I don’t have hours to ease into focus, I’ve needed to hack my system. In doing that, I discovered three important ideas that assist me get issues performed with a neurodivergent mind: simplicity, urgency, and momentum.
Right here’s how they form my every day life.
3 Rules I Comply with for Improved “Productiveness”
Precept 1: Simplicity
I preserve easy programs for capturing concepts, documenting duties, and organizing all the above. The secret is that the processes are simple to repeat and every thing is simple to entry—nothing is ever too difficult. That is paramount.
I exploit the Notes app and Reminders app on my cellphone in addition to Notion to avoid wasting concepts and duties. I additionally write issues down on paper as a result of I’ll by no means be a completely digital particular person. The mind processes handwriting fully otherwise than typing. Except for Notion, the apps on my cellphone are VERY easy and straightforward to make use of.
I exploit the bucket system for digital recordsdata (and bodily objects in my dwelling), one thing I first discovered about from KC Davis, creator of Hold Home Whereas Drowning. I exploit digital buckets to prepare recordsdata on my laptop in these classes: To-Do Lists, Writing, Enterprise Initiatives, Content material Creation, Household, Our Residence, Studying, Finance, Psychological Well being, Cooking, Journey, Bodily Well being, and Shoppers.
Precept 2: Urgency
These of us who’re deeply aware of procrastination understand it’s a nasty behavior that “works” as a result of we get issues performed as soon as we really feel the strain of time. Nonetheless, I found that after I procrastinate and rush to get every thing performed shortly, I really feel like my work is missing as a result of I don’t have time to follow deep work and get all my concepts out. To interrupt the cycle of procrastination, I must create my very own urgency. This precept comes into play by way of the timer I exploit (extra on this beneath).
Precept 3: Momentum
With any motion, I’ve lengthy identified the toughest half is getting began, which is why creating momentum is so essential. As a result of transitions are so troublesome for individuals with ADHD, the precept of momentum retains us going.
To create my every day momentum, I carried out a morning routine that’s pared right down to the fundamentals and prioritizes essentially the most difficult factor first. I stand up, brew espresso, and sit right down to work instantly. This creates a pure inflow of dopamine that may carry me by means of the day. I used to meditate and stretch earlier than attending to work, and now I do it after I end one thing that takes quite a lot of focus. I really feel superb and able to deal with something after I use momentum like this.
4 Productiveness Instruments I Swear By
For a similar causes I’m a fan of utilizing pen and paper, I like bodily instruments that aren’t on my cellphone. Listed below are the 4 I all the time have at my desk.
1. Keep on Monitor Planner: This planner helps me plan the small print of every week.
2. Timer: That is for practising the Pomodoro approach and for simulating and creating urgency and constraints. I’ve three of them.
3. The Brick: The Brick blocks choose apps on my cellphone for a set period of time. Having a bodily software to restrict my digital entry is essential for me. Brick wins for its simplicity.
4. Apple Headphones: To lock in and tune out. White noise, sound bowls, EDM, rap. Doesn’t matter what it’s so long as I can’t hear what’s occurring round me.
I additionally flip to some choose sources and other people for recommendation on productiveness:
My Work Routine
On Sunday evening or Monday morning, I mind dump every thing into my Keep on Monitor Planner—duties, concepts, and notes I’ve collected all through the week in my Notes and Reminders apps. Then, I exploit the Eisenhower Matrix to kind what’s pressing, what can wait, what might be delegated, and what’s simply noise. I hate planning, however I’ve discovered that pushing by means of this step makes every thing else simpler.
When it’s time to work, I take my brick and timer wherever I am going—whether or not it’s my workplace, the eating desk, or a espresso store. I placed on my headphones, choose a activity, and set a timer: 25 minutes for small duties like emails and captions, 45 minutes for deeper work like writing and design. The timer retains me from falling into perfectionism (which is simply procrastination in disguise).
I additionally set agency bodily and digital boundaries. My cellphone stays out of attain, my texts are on mute, and if my workplace divider is up, my household is aware of I want uninterrupted time. It’s not good—children nonetheless stroll in—however it helps everybody be extra conscious about what pressing truly means.
On the finish of the day, I ask myself: Do I must push by means of or name it an evening? If I really feel like ending my to-do checklist will show I “labored arduous sufficient,” I am going to mattress. If wrapping up one final activity will assist tomorrow’s momentum, I give myself 30 extra minutes. No inflexible guidelines—simply tuning in.
I used to make my incapability to get issues performed imply one thing about me as a human being. We don’t try this anymore. Some days I can provide myself what I want. Some days I simply mess up. Life goes on.
The Energy of Discomfort
I now not take ease as a right as a result of I understand how arduous easy issues might be. I used to attend for the right situations to put in writing—now I jot issues down in the course of a grocery retailer. I observe ease when it presents itself.
However discomfort is all the time there.
When huge initiatives really feel overwhelming (hiya, writing a e book), I take into consideration Phil Stutz’s string of pearls idea—progress is simply including one small motion at a time. Some pearls aren’t nice, however the level is to maintain including them. Getting began is 80% of the battle, and resistance by no means totally disappears.
Over time, I’ve come to understand the ache of doing arduous issues. It’s stripped my ego from productiveness and proven me the meditative energy of merely doing. The ache of making comes from caring a lot that we’re afraid—and that’s stunning.
We don’t must boss-babe our approach again to hustle tradition, however possibly we swung too far within the different path. I do know I did. Now, I consider self-care as self-respect: How can I make selections as we speak that honor what I care about most?
There’ll all the time be components of the method we hate, however the extra we do them, the higher we get at pushing by means of. And in doing so, we carry what we deeply care about to life.
Kate is the founding father of Wit & Delight. She is at the moment studying find out how to play tennis and is eternally testing the boundaries of her artistic muscle. Comply with her on Instagram at @witanddelight_.
