I’m a giant fan of the Olympic Video games however they current a little bit of a quandary after they overlap with the AFL season.
Which will get priority? The grand worldwide stage or the nationwide obsession?
Effectively, as anyone with a killer haircut as soon as put it, “I need all of it!”
However learn how to mix these two very totally different flavours? The reply could be to reimagine Olympic occasions – just a bit bit – to accommodate the inclusion of among the AFL’s most fun expertise.
Right here then is my proposal for some late additions to the Australian Olympic staff and the sporting occasions that they promise to take by storm.
(Fake) Archery
Essendon’s Xavier Duursma is the standout candidate. There needed to be some function for that long-perfected William Inform objective celebration and now we all know.
Inventive Gymnastics (Put up-goal – in Spite of all of the Hazard)
Little doubt coaches maintain their breath each time a objective is kicked as of late, with many a misplaced excessive 5 discovering its means right into a teammate’s eye socket. Fremantle’s Michael Frederick upped the ante in final 12 months’s Western Derby, performing a near-perfect backflip.
To not be outdone, younger Gold Coast ahead Lloyd Johnston repeated the manoeuvre throughout this 12 months’s conflict towards Carlton. This being Olympic choice, I’ll go along with the Queenslander.
Marcus Bontempelli. (Photograph by Dylan Burns/AFL Pictures through Getty Pictures)
Basketball (Background)
In fact there may be Magpie veteran Scott ‘higher than Patty Mills’ Pendlebury. However even he’s sick and uninterested in the ‘basketball background’ epithet, so I’m going to offer him a break and look to the subsequent era.
There are a number of worthy contenders, together with the Dockers’ Luke Jackson, Demon Christian Petracca and Bulldog Marcus Bontempelli. I’ll go for the Bont. Some say that as a junior he was higher than Scott Pendlebury.
(Inept) Boxing
The times of Large Unhealthy Barry Corridor are lengthy gone. Present AFL guidelines may give a quiet nod to the cagey physique puncher however the left-right mixture has turn out to be all however extinct.
Jesse Hogan tried it towards Lewis Younger within the Giants’ Spherical 6 encounter with Carlton however, in response to the Tribunal, managed solely negligible impression.
A more-than-handy full ahead, however contained in the ring Jesse couldn’t bruise a grape. He appears ripe for choice right here.
Breaking (Unhealthy)
I believe Saint-turned-sinner Jimmy Webster now has the road cred to crush it on this new, urban-inspired Olympic occasion (oh alright, sport).
As soon as a comparatively nameless toiler, Webster sprung to notoriety this 12 months with an act of violence towards North Melbourne so stunning that it prompted Roo’s coach Alastair Clarkson to go all Sopranos on him. He’s served his time, now he can serve his nation.
Canoe Slalom (Macho Part)
I’m no skilled on the whitewater sport. It nonetheless principally brings to thoughts these previous Solo Man commercials. So I’m going to appoint Port Adelaide’s moustachioed heart-throb Ivan Soldo. I hope he can swim.
Diving (Extra in Hope than Expectation)
Brisbane’s Joe Daniher provides one other Queenslander (sensu Greg Inglis) to the squad.
Joe Daniher. (Photograph by Dylan Burns/AFL Pictures through Getty Pictures)
Fencing (In)
On this age of staff defence, corralling an opponent is an important talent. It’s truly not very arduous. Most gamers can do it. I choose … oh … Hawthorn’s Errol Flynn lookalike Harry Morrison.
Soccer (As in Soccer)
I’m certain you expect me to delve via a number of off-the-ground objective of the 12 months contenders, in quest of the AFL equal to Lionel Messi.
However let’s face it, it’s goalkeepers like Mark Bosnich, Mark Schwarzer and Matty Ryan who’ve made Australia’s greatest mark on the World Recreation.
So I’m in search of a goalkeeping kind and as standard YouTube supplies the reply – Carlton’s Blake Acres. Take a look at the clip. If the Rating Overview says ‘Behind’, you may guess that Blake has had a hand in it.
Handball (Dodgy)
It actually could possibly be anyone as of late. Again within the Nineteen Nineties, the ‘Crow throw’ used to infuriate opposition supporters. But it surely quickly grew to become a case of if you happen to can’t beat them, be a part of them.
For legacy causes I’m going to pick an Adelaide participant. Irish hurler Mark Keane has obtained away with some beauties this 12 months however fails to qualify on residential grounds, so I’ll go along with younger Jake Soligo. He’s fairly slick.
(Horse) Hockey
After a latest match towards the Dockers, Collingwood defender Isaac Quaynor compounded his on-field lie about touching the ball by confessing to it. Not an ideal act of deceit however ok to e-book a ticket to Paris.
Taking pictures (for Aim)
Full ahead has all the time been the glamour place of Aussie Guidelines. However together with the charisma, these footy marksmen require nerves of metal.
My present favorite is Eagles shock packet Jake Waterman however not less than one Bombers fan has insisted to me that Peter Wright’s kicking motion is so thrilling it needs to be X-rated. I’m nothing if not democratic – Wright it’s.
Browsing (Whereas Injured)
One for the daredevils. Fremantle legend Nat Fyfe was raked over by aggro broadcaster Kane Cornes a number of years again bro, however nonetheless retains charging. Teahopo’o awaits!
Water Polo (Particular Ruckmen’s Division)
I shortly pencilled in Bomber Sam Draper for this spot within the staff however we have already got two Essendon gamers.
I believe the large West Australian Cat, Toby Conway, has some Draper-like qualities, so I’m going to take a punt on him. I hope he can work out learn how to get his horse into the water.
Wrestling (for Place)
Soccer lore has it that there have been sure individuals who you simply didn’t wrestle. Tony Lockett. Yabby Denims.
Whereas no person fairly suits that class as of late, being a key ahead or a key defender nonetheless requires some fairly superior abilities within the grappling caper.
Melbourne’s Steven Might is nearly as good as any of them. And he’d make a beautiful heel if he ever turned professional.
Hawthorn Hawks
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Larger Western Sydney Giants
AFL : Head To Head
Sat, 8 Jun 2024, 13:45
West Coast Eagles
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North Melbourne Kangaroos
AFL : Head To Head
Sat, 8 Jun 2024, 16:35
St Kilda Saints
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Gold Coast Suns
AFL : Head To Head
Sat, 8 Jun 2024, 19:30
Sydney Swans
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Geelong Cats
AFL : Head To Head
Solar, 9 Jun 2024, 15:20
Essendon Bombers
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Carlton Blues
AFL : Head To Head
Solar, 9 Jun 2024, 19:20
Collingwood Magpies
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Melbourne Demons
AFL : Head To Head
Mon, 10 Jun 2024, 15:20
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